Monday, September 28, 2009

More Uncertainty

The last week has been frustrating and anticlimactic. My OBGYN still believes I had another pregnancy and miscarriage...but can't be absolutely certain. My RE thinks it's more likely I was passing tissue/blood from the previous miscarriage.....but doesn't know. Basically, my RE thinks my OBGYN missed something on the ultrasound I had after the last miscarriage. But my OBGYN is confident in what she saw. Maybe I just want to believe I got pregnant again, but I believe I got pregnant again. Why? Two reasons - 1. There was a lot of blood/tissue in this recent round...I feel like my OBGYN would have to have been blind to have missed it. 2. I'm the only one that went through it and I don't know what else would cause that much pain and bleeding. In any case, I'll never know for sure. Annoying.

And, neither Dr. seems to think it really makes a difference anyway. So, I've just gone through more physical and mental hell and nobody really cares. Sweet.

Anyway, all I can hope for is that my body gets back on track ASAP. I had an ultrasound today at my RE's office and he said my ovaries are confused......hopefully, my hormones will start working regularly soon.

On a more happy note, my hubby and I celebrated our 4th anniversary this past weekend. We flew to Seattle and had a wonderful time. We did some sightseeing, ate a lot, drank a lot and relaxed a lot too. He planned the weekend so all I had to do was show up! Oh - and we also each ran 20 miles - well I ran/walked. I am still planning to do the NYC marathon on 11/1. Yes - maybe a dumb move for my reproductive system. I certainly wouldn't have been training had I known what was potentially going on last month. In any case, the marathon gives me something to look forward to. Training is a release for me. Completing it will feel good - something I can do as compared to all my IF "failures". And, hopefully when I finish, my body will be ready to make this baby thing happen!!!

1 comment:

  1. Happy Anniversary! I'm so glad to hear you had such a lovely getaway! You definitely deserve that.

    I'm sorry your body sitll isn't back on track, the waiting game is never easy.

    I know you're not quite there yet, but I wanted to let you know that a new RESOLVE group just started in Palo Alto. I'm going this Sunday evening with a few other ladies. If and when you ever feel like attending or even just talking. You know where to find me. No pressure at all. Just want you to know I'm here.