Tuesday, August 25, 2009

No Progress But Feeling Good

It's been awhile since I've posted. There is absolutely nothing going on with my cycle as far as I can tell. I'm not taking OPK's this cycle but I don't think I've ovulated yet. It's been over six weeks since we found out about the miscarriage. I'd like to get this cycle over with so we can get on with things!

In the mean time, I'm having a grand ole' time. I was in Vegas last weekend with my husband and friends. I didn't do much gambling, but there was a lot of laughter and a lot of vodka. This weekend, we're off to Laguna Beach for one of my best friend's wedding. I am very excited to share in the joyous occasion. Of course, whenever one of my friends gets married I think "great, now another person is going to "pass" me on the baby making route." But, oh well.

I'm feeling very mentally and emotional strong these days. I think blogging is helping me "release" my thoughts. And, reading the blogs of others has really helped me feel like I'm not alone and insane! I've also been seeing a therapist for a couple months. And, I'm starting to be more open about my fertility issues. I have shared my issues with some new people and gotten really comforting and kind responses. All of these things are helping a little with the isolation that sometimes overwhelms me. At the same time, I know the emotional roller coaster will continue.

I do still have my moments. We got an invitation to my friend's son's 2nd birthday party. I saw that we'll be out of town on that date and I sarcastically said "bummer". My husband looked at me like I was so evil. But I told him that I don't really enjoy birthday parties for kids because they just demonstrate that everyone except us has kids. No thank you.

Anyway, all in all, I'm feeling good.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Exercise - Friend or Foe?

I don't have much to report since I'm on a post-miscarriage "rest". I've been getting back into shape. I did a long run on Saturday and 70-mile bike ride on Sunday. I have a bit of an internal battle with myself about exercise and whether or not it's "good" for me. I know it's mentally great for me. And, the times that I have not exercised in the last few years have not had any good results in terms of pregnancy. In fact, I got pregnant this last time after a month of pretty intense triathlon training and then the Escape from Alcatraz triathlon. So, that made me even less cautious about working out. I don't appear to have any issues with ovulating or cycling normally, and am not too skinny, so I think it's fine. But, of course, since our infertility is unexplained, I'm always wondering if I should lead my life differently. I am signed up for the New York Marathon on Nov. 1. I'm not planning to break any records and plan to walk some of it. I just think it will be a blast to be in the midst of the crowd!! I am a sucker for that stuff. Of course, I really hope I won't be able to do it because I'll be pregnant. But, that is very, very wishful thinking.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

My fortune cookie message tonight:

"Contentment is just around the corner for you. Look forward!"

I like it.

Nothing very new to report. I've been comforted by reading other IF blogs. I empathize with others and truly understand the hodgepodge of feelings that come with IF.

I've been oddly happy the last week or so. Since I'm on a "rest" period, I know I can't really do anything on IF front and there's a certain freedom that comes with that.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Still Bleeding

My Dr. gave me misoprostol two weeks ago. I bled right away and had been spotting since. Then, last weekend, much heavier flow began again. So, I guess it "didn't work" the first time. I went in for an U/S today and they said there's just a little blood left. So, shouldn't be much longer. Just a bit more of a delay than I would have liked. But, as my husband said, we are used to delays. The Dr. also saw a little cyst in my uterus that was there at my 6-week u/s. It's probably nothing but she wants to monitor it. Hmmm..... please go away little cyst!!

Anyway, despite this minor setback, I'm feeling pretty good. My 3-day San Diego trip was great - warm weather, great conversations with a dear friend, time in the ocean, lots of food & drinks, and sleep. Speaking of sleep, it's past my bedtime so I'm off.