Hello there for any newbies to my blog. I'm trying this ICLW thing for the first time. I've been blogging for a few non-eventful (sort of) months of my IF journey and it's done me wonders, but I could use a few more "friends".
Even though few of us are where we want to be, I cherish staying up with others news and relating to the hope, disappointment, insanity, dark humor, sadness, and so much more.
Here's my deal:
I am 35 and am in disbelief that I've been trying to get pregnant for almost 4 years. I have tried everything including Clomid, Letrazole, IUI, and IVF. I have been pregnant two or three times (i know...really confusing .... read blogs from late september if you want to know more) but never made it past 8 weeks. I am currently waiting for my body to get "back to normal" post-miscarriage. I feel guilt, anger, sadness, numbness, confusion, bitterness (is that the same as anger?) and the full array of IF emotions. I've actually been feeling really strong and happy lately but I think that ugly stuff lies below the surface.
The diagnosis is unexplained, although I had mild endometriosis removed via laparoscopy and FSH is a little high (in the 9's). In any case, I don't have a baby and it's hard to have hope. But,
given my recent "success" getting pregnant, I want to try naturally for the next few months before getting back to ART. If we are still not pregnant a few months down the road, I'm not sure if we'll try IVF again, or move on to donor eggs. I'm trying to wrap my mind around the latter idea. Thoughts?
Other than that, I love food & wine, sporty stuff (especially triathlons & yoga), the outdoors and too many TV shows. Right now, I don't like baby showers or even 1- and 2-year old birthday parties. I've struggled at sharing my IF journey and feel really thankful for the blogging community.
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I don't like baby showers either! :) In all seriousness, I hope that whatever you decide the next step should be, it's successful.
ReplyDelete(((hugs)))
ICLW
No baby showers for me either! I hope that knowing that others understand what you're going through helps somewhat. (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteICLW
Well, no thoughts. But I'm right there with ya, sista! You've got a friend in me (I feel like I should be breaking into song and dance right now) Lol!
ReplyDeleteICLW
Welcome to ICLW. You'll definitely find a few more friends through this. Here's hoping the natural way works for you soon.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to ICLW - it is wonderful to find so many friends along the way!! I find next steps on the IF journey are always a little difficult to face - for me, going with donor eggs has been quite an adjustment but it was also a logical one because I retrieved very few eggs from any of my IVF cycles - once I analysed all five cycles it was an easy decision (accepting it though - hmmm another story).
ReplyDeleteGood luck with trying naturally and hopefully that will work for you and you don't have to think about the next step on the IF journey!!
Welcome to ICLW. This is my first month as well! Good luck with deciding on the next steps!
ReplyDeleteNice to 'meet' you through ICLW! I can't seem to stay pregnant pass 8/9 weeks either. Just suffered third miscarriage (from IVF#1). Taking the rest of the year off and hoping for a miracle. If not, we will move on to IVF #2 in January.
ReplyDeleteI hope you get a miracle of your own soon!!