Twins It Is

That's right. We saw two little heartbeats at our 6w3d ultrasound today. And, our estimated due date was confirmed as Christmas Day. Needless to say, we are overjoyed. Would I rather have one than two? Yes. Would I pick Christmas Day as my due date? No. But, wow, am I smiling inside. What a blessing.

I have been so nervous in the recent days and weeks. When I put my legs up on the stirrups today, they were shaking like crazy. Then, I couldn't see the screen so I just watched the Dr's face which showed no sign of emotion. However, when he said, "are you ready for this?", I knew it was twins.

The stats on the little guys:
#1 - 5mm CRL, heartrate = 127
#2 - 5mm CRL, heartrate = 114

I am just in a state of wonder that two eggs/embryos have made it to this point. We've done IVF twice and of over 20 embryos (9 blasts) only one has made it this far. Not to mention how many other cycles we've done over the last 4 years. The "odds" just don't make any sense - but I'm not complaining.

So, now we wait another 2 weeks until the next u/s. I have been hit by morning sickness pretty hard. I felt truly awful yesterday and am really starting to favor junk food.

We're still not going to share this with folks IRL. We're still just too scared to get others' hopes up. We made it to a HB with our first pregnancy before the loss, and so I most definitely do not feel "out of the woods". I just really need to focus on taking it day by day and not thinking about what will happen if we lose these little miracles. I just don't know what I would do. I don't even know what path we would take knowing that we had lost 4 babies....

Thanks to all of you for your support. I noticed that I've lost a few followers in the last week. I'm guessing that's because I'm pregnant, and hopefully not because I wrote something offensive. It feels kind of sad to lose followers but I completely get it. But, for those of you still following - please stick around for the first trimester if you can - I feel like I have a long way to go.