Stay Away Ms. Crazy

I'm on CD18 (5DPO). I decided take progesterone supplement (prometrium) this cycle, and I'm also ingesting all sorts of tasty (or not so much) herbs from my acupuncturist. So far, this 2WW hasn't turned me into Ms. Crazy, but that will probably start in another 5 days or so.

We also have our appointment with the new RE next week. I'm nervous. It's going to be hard to open myself up to someone new. For some reason, I lose all my confidence in front of Dr.'s. I get shy and sad exactly when I don't want to. I'm scared she won't have compassion. I'm worried she will be stumped by our case. I'm dreading going back into managed cycles, even though I want to move this train forward. Since I'm concerned about falling apart at the appointment, I wrote up a 1-page summary of us including questions and thoughts at the top of my mind. I hope it helps.

Anyhow, all in all, I'm feeling alright. So, what else is going on with me?

• I got my hair straightened this weekend. I have sort of curly/frizzy hair and now it is straight and smooth. I just wake up and brush it. So exciting. Maybe my curly hair has been preventing me from getting pregnant? This must be it....
• I never made any 2010 resolutions. Usually I do, but it just didn't happen. I think all the little things I try and do seem kind of meaningless compared to the big picture. And, "have a baby" doesn't work as a resolution.
• The newest season of the Bachelor is on, and what a title: "The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love". The whole show is redonkulous, but I am already addicted. As far as Jake goes, he's not my favorite. He's definitely a little too nice (Yes, I don't like people that are too nice), and he needs to keep his shirt on more often. Yes, he has a nice body, but it's clear that the season is going to be filled with gratuitous shots.
• I'm focused on fun trips in the coming year. There is going to be some skiing, maybe a yoga/surf retreat, and some sort of international trip (portugal and african safari are currently under consideration). Of course, I just want to get pregnant and eat bon bons this year...but god know I can't assume that's going to happen.
• I want it to rain more! Yes, it's strange. Maybe it's the Oregon girl in me.

Nothing too exciting here...but boring can be good.

Once again, it looks good

I went to get a mid-cycle u/s at my RE's office today. I haven't had one in about 10 months (I did IVF FET last March, followed by laparoscopy followed by pregnancy, miscarriage, pregnancy, miscarriage and then a few months of naturally trying) and I wanted to make sure everything appears to be ok. And, as usual, it does. It's always kind of encouraging when my uterine lining looks good and my egg count looks high. My RE said that if he was looking at me for the first time he would never think that egg quality was an issue because my count is average to above average. I'm on CD11 and he said the follicle on my right side looks ready to go and he expects that I'll ovulate very soon. He did say that the follicle was large for day 11 and an early surge (short first part of cycle) could be a sign of low egg quality. Anyway, bottom line is that everything looks good. But, I know looks can be deceiving. I pretty much always get an A on these tests. And, obviously I've got issues.

I also talked to him about taking progesterone supplements. My acupuncturist thinks I exhibit some signs of a deficiency. Me RE says diagnosing one is basically impossible but he has no problem with me taking some in the latter part of my cycle. I'm not sure if I should do it or not. I am grasping at straws.

Anyway, I guess it's time to give it another go. We still have our "second opinion" appointment on 1/19.

In other news, I stayed home from work today due to a cold. I've been feeling pretty crappy and while I could have suffered through the day at work, I just wasn't up to it. I've been able to get some cleaning, organizing, christmas undecorating, etc. done today and it's making me feel more ready to start the new year.