Tuesday, March 16, 2010


It's CD 27 and I absolutely hate this time of the month. I'm feeling vulnerable and insecure. I'm feeling hope and dread. I know I will feel better in a few days, even if I get a BFN. I'm not feeling any "signs". My previous BFP's were preceded by a bunch of cramping and I don't feel any of that. So, I wait for the final evidence...

On a positive note, I finally have some resolution on my former post, A Lost Friendship . Thanks to all of you for your comments on that one. You inspired me to deal with the issue directly. I wrote her an honest letter (it took a few drafts to get the right tone), and we had good talk a few days later. It felt so good to "clear the air", as I see her everyday and didn't like the resentment I felt. A favorite quote of mine - "Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." It's so true, but it's hard not to resent sometimes, especially when you're infertile.

DH is off to a bachelor party this weekend and so I'll be flying solo here. I usually like some "alone time", but right now it doesn't sound that appealing. In any case, I'm sure I'll keep myself busy!


  1. The end of the 2WW is the worst. I have my fingers crossed that AF doesn't show and you get that BFP. I'm so glad you worked things out with your friend, too. It's nice to get those things off of your chest. Keep yourself busy this weekend so you aren't focused on the wait and being slone. Maybe rent a movie that DH doesn't want to see? Order take out? Regardless, I hope you have a good time!

  2. Those last two days are the worst! Hang in there and I hope you get a great surprise :-).

  3. I concur, the last few days are the WORST.

    I'm glad to hear that you cleared things up with your friend, I've been wondering about that.

    Hope your weekend flies by until Dh gets back home.

  4. Well? Surprises? Maybe?

    I have one of those friends as well...perhaps I should take your advice, and clear the air.


    ICLW #29

  5. Hoping and praying that this cycle brought you good news.

    I went through multiple losses (secondary infertility for me) and know how painful it can be. I'm so glad you were able to clear the air with L.

    ~ICLW #31