Pinching Myself

It has been a very long time since I've posted. I've still been perusing blogs, but less and less. It's a strange feeling...I miss the interaction but it's nice to not feel the need to blog. I feel guilty about "leaving" the blogging world but so happy to move on. I hope you all know that my thoughts are still with you. I will never forget what it's like to be infertile or to suffer losses. I've had friends ask me if all my years of trying seem miles away and it takes me about .2 seconds to say "absolutely not". I've still got scars, pain, anger, resentment, sadness, etc......but I am healing.

Which brings me to the good news.....we're going to have a boy and a girl! And, at 20 weeks, they are both looking perfectly healthy. We've passed all the genetic testing and ultrasounds. It's unbelievable and amazing. I have shed some of my first tears of joy over the last week just realizing how real this is becoming (up until now, I really haven't shed many tears of joy because I've been so cautious). I feel a sense of redemption.

So, I'm finally in full baby planning mode - equipment, help, etc. It's fun and overwhelming to be here.